An Old Physicist - Part 1

"I am an old Physicist, I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of time."

I was exploring the possibilities of other Planet Earths. They seemed distant, yet we longed to discover them. We felt we needed to look into something, something that shows possibilities; beyond our comprehension.
It was like looking into your past, I realized later on. We saw possibilities of Planet Earths beyond our solar system, beyond The Milky Way. Planets that orbit around red dwarfs, children to our Sun. Planets that themselves were in their twos, threes, to tens, year olds away from our maturing Earth. We longed to understand where we came from, where we are heading. We looked out-wordly to find answers.

Answers that we could also find inside.

Observation of the Self

1. Inter Dream State
He never knew a day would ever come. He always thought that his pattern of thoughts were stable, heading towards a clear destination, an ultimate goal.

Nigel woke up slowly, guided by the fading bright light. He sat up, crossed his knees, arched his back, placed his right arm elbow on his right leg knee, placed his right hand palm under his chin as support to his head. His left arm shoulder extended straight, forearm, followed by his left hand palm, falling down to hold his left leg knee, eyes staring into space, reminiscing in his dream.

His memory showed him gracefully falling into space. He was not sure if he was naked, although he did see him self in third person with a vague image. At the same time he was looking through the eyes of the dreamer. He felt joy in the fall, and scanning his surroundings, he saw little worlds.

Worlds with magnificent landscapes and terrain. Surfaces with floating islands on bright blue seas. Mountains of rivers and ice. Deep cracked, volcano infested plains. A Single Mountain globe.
And the stars were bright and plenty. Red, yellow, green, purple stars.
In a moment, he longed to go discover the Planet Earths. In the same instant, a voice told "Nigel, stay your place. Mystery is shy, let it come to you."

His body slowly relaxed into crossed leg sitting position, back straight, arms resting on knees, and closed eyes. Within moments, a light started between his rib cages, right where they split. The light expanded, until his view was only bright light.

A short walk in Metanomos

"When pronounced, it sounds like you're almost saying enormous, see" he pronounced again, slowly extending the 'no' of his imagined word.
"Look those two words up on this little dictionary of yours" he tapped on my skull "meta and nomos."

... I searched.

"You see a way of walking on this Earth, a perception of the metaphysical make up, an intricate web of possibilities can be seen through such a veil."
"When you see that this universe operate on a set of laws, ever-changing in the way it brings in different characteristics when an individual situation arises, you are able to flow through life's spectrum of experiences, guided by search of truth in every moment."

As I just went into bewilderment yet confusion in what he was painting, we stalled in quiet for a few minutes, he took a sip off his rose water bottle and whispered "a vessel as a shadow."

Chapter One ; Stories of the Wanderer

He always felt in solitude.

Never a single person fully understands the nature of such a human.
He was so pleasantly distanced from the crowds around, that he never felt attached to someone or something, yet wanting them to get closer to It, holding a burning charcoal in his hand and conscious of it. No pain, nor pleasure, it is just a sensation.

Yes, he connects with people when there is some form of communication between them, and fully present he is then. Yet there is only so many he can hold in his short attention span. He always thought of certain kinders, of memory in the jungle, lying on ocean's sand, sitting on a coach, walking through an oval-shaped path that had birds repeatedly singing through speakers. Little conversations pop out on the way through the multiverse of realities people lived in his own existence.

He was free to enter through their realities, absorb their experience and be comfortable in it, most of the time. "To fully understand" he thought "a person's existence, one must live as part of their reality." and then he expanded "Every consciousness lives a little bit in their own world, connected to other worlds, some that are shared in groups, some are shared by all. They see you as a character in their story ready to be played."

He wrote an extensive research paper (which has 0 number of references, except for his life's experience) about the concept of "Living in one's shoe" or sometimes he thought of it written "Living in One's shoe". Of course he always knew he will be a guide at some point in this life, but to be able to guide oneself; gives enough satisfaction.

And what better way to do it but to play the character they want you to be, with a bit of a twist. Hence when we surrender to a reality created by an Other, and lose the need to create our own, we move one step closer towards a One reality. A one. Not the One, neither The One, maybe it's not about living a certain reality already created "from the start", but to continue towards a reality of another kind.

He saw that discovering one's self is probably the most important task anyone could do.

And so, he wonders this Earth, looking for specific seconds in a person's reality where he could intervene, and disable a few perspectives on how their world is. Little shifts happen in their earth's plates, the spine forms another kind of order, and he see it done.

Only one thing you must accept, you cannot escape these shifts he and his kinders deliver, not when every part of your bone, flesh, and spirit wants to run towards truth, in the back of your mind you know it's inevitable, the day of judgement is not getting any further.

So stop when you see him next time, give him a few specific seconds, you probably won't like it then, but regret will never cross your mind.

Although he was, as we all have been, young.

Time Ticks Quick Flicks

Movement towards an infinite sphere of possibilities, creates confusion, disturbance in the current grounded system of our cybernetic age of communication.

Disturbance is essential,
New forms of thought that already existed appear. We are endowed with the probability of moving towards two situations:

Number One:
Moving towards One understanding of our existence, to work together and help each other to go through these times in a more conscious manner, understand our past, precautions of our present thought and action, and hope for a more connected future.

Since what we aim Now is not Good or Bad, but communication. We have so disconnected ourselves from each other, forgot about the Earthlings we live with, and lost the cord to the collective consciousness. Slowly we realise this, slowly we rebuild the bridge once crossed, now ancient and crumbling.

But there is a possibilities in this bridge, we can build a strong one, a powerful link created from each individual experience, that yet shared in the result of self discovery.

These written thoughts are but a reflection of a million souls' desire to create a link between lost beings.

Number Two:

Destruction, Regeneration, Start again.

A window into Brain - Stuck in Circles

And back again
back again back again

It seems hard for me to jump out of it, the Will is weak, the ego is strong, the environment doesn't support.

I wish to express disappointment of being, the person I wish to be is slowly coming, yet it's hard to know that the person can come now.

Yet laziness and selfishness are the greatest evil, they feel good, satisfying to the ID.

I need methods, I need teachers to tell me what to do. But Fate says you have to do it yourself.

I wish to express disappointment, yet I know it doesn't help, and when I look at it positively, and "going with the flow". I am still stuck.

How can One see it all, the loops and circles I keeps the Self trapped, where I is dominant, Myself wants to kill Me, to wake Self and take the lead.
Too many Identities!

Why can't you just come and show me a method? Because you know it already, but you make yourself restricted, because of others' eyes and judgment talks. But it's not, a paradox in the making.

You love them so much you don't want to disappoint them. You are so afraid to be rejected, you don't want to freak them out. You are trapped between Love and Fear, tense that one a bit more up.
From the middle ground you will pop out.

I can't really see it, it's like Self is veiled through smog, maybe I can see through? Myself is dying.
Too many voices in the head.

Surely I does know, it's not crazy, it was just let loose, given the freedom to travel through places unknown, going through a Labyrinth, so long and tiresome, I knows it will not be lot, yet Myself what's to get break through the walls and reach the Self, it's breath is only limited.

You are confusing the Me, Myself, and I, ooh little Self. Stop those cuttings of the Being, you have used it in it's good time. Brain not working and hands not typing so well. But we must release.

They are looking at Me! Judging thinking of He, is lost and gone koko, why does he want glasses?

--- Complain all I can, truly I fear to do as I please, because I love all those who I feel and see.

It is so mixed up, I don't know why. No matter how much i realise of the circles i'm stuck in, I am still stuck in them. Purify me, I am typing my heart now, to the world to see, dangerous it may be, at the end of it you won't recognise me, but I will still love You.

I do, it's so easy, you're just so beautiful, all of you 2-legged, 4-legged, winged, and rooted.
But it's time to love Me, Myself to die, and I to be.

--
Inserts from Brain