Metanomos ; Chapter 1.1

A spiraling downward movement, dizzy hazed vision, cannot really see where it is going. Darkness.
In a busy city street, blurry sounds of chatter and passing cars, you see her in the distance, looking at the left side of her back, feeling rejection, no attention given. People walk by and your vision only gazes towards her.
You see her again, in a moving train, but she never leaves your sight, you're standing on the edge of the platform, she seems near visually, but the train moves away, she stays close. She is facing the other way.
There, in the kitchen, slicing avocados, putting bread in the toaster. you sit on the bed, starring. She finishes preparing food for herself and sits on the dining table, slowly eating her breakfast. You never see her face.

An empty feeling at heart. The image starts to slowly crumble.
Black.

I woke with a rough cough and pain just under where my rib cages meet, that soft spot. Like someone has just punched me...

"Where it hurrts the most, dosnit?"
I look up the old man still beside, smiling with his almost closed eyes, smirks.
"Lad you know it digs deep and deep this worm of attachment. Too deep sometimes you gotsa bring the pain back to the surface."
He chuckles mischievously. I look at his left hand as a fist, tense rested on the table. I realize he just punched me..

"WHO ARE YOU?" I burst in an instant like a dragon awoken for the first time in a thousand years.

"Oooh just an old fella..." he starts answering as if we are making small talk, sitting on a bar stool. "Traveled far and hard around this globe. Seen many tings, yeaas I tell you. Oh and learnt a few too. Head full of methods and theories. Paah so much in there so packed. So I thought might as well pack them up put them in a book. But you see books are good in some ways, but not in others, no no. Just visual symbols, a bit of auditory, where is the other senses in that?! And what about the experience HA?! So I thought here might as well teach it to someone..." He paused for a second, head tilting slightly up his right staring into space.
As he talked on and on, as my initial dragon anger died down, bells ringing to pay attention. What an annoying fella I thought, yet ringing ringing, I cannot stop those bells.
"But then I thought no no, defeats the purpose. Maybe just share it, talk about it, experience it with someone ay.. See what they make of it, getting it going in their heart as it does go on all hearts. See they beat together a symphony. HAHA. Brilliant symphony! But every beat inspires the other, evolution you see. Ripple effect, bla bla..."

He stopped, looking bored by his own talking, or by my confused look.

"See compiling it is needed, otherwise I throw these non-sensible words at you, I don't even get it! But it is there, just need a... to work expressing, sharing it. With a som.."

A sudden jerk stopped him, like a popcorn of an idea has popped in his brain, left eye arching upward, right one down (as it seemed they always were, now emphasized) gazing curiously at my eyes.

I read his eyes. Then he reads mine. "YES! Well of course! why not then, welcome aboard!"
He extends his right hand towards me. "What?" I act surprised, yet intrigued. "Ah don't be a fool, you're a sharp fella, assessing every little moment and movement, I myself is not a fool too, I see your eyes, scanning, up and down. A normal one would have left the very second! Ooh they say they come best in desperate times, when all the emotions and sensors are open. Gidi-yap then! give us yourr hand!"

I stare at him in confusion, dis-belief, passionate curiosity. "Aboard what?"
"The journey of Metanomos.." He slowly announced, followed with a broad smile across his face. Eyes in relief.

"When pronounced, it sounds like you're almost saying enormous, see"

An action In intention

Dearest, of all which exists

My place is far away in the mental realm.
Don't bother me with your physical pain.
I have no interest in your surroundings.
I only have interest in your psychic film.

Won't you try and see? I have no choice. You can break a log on my shoulders and my mouth will shriek, the mind thinking about the consequence it could have on my bones and whether I could move as elegantly as I did before. Is it possible for it to heal? Ah and the blood, better find something to hold it back, don't want to be making a mess. Poor log. I might need to take a break from driving, will have to train my left hand, ah! A great opportunity!

The fact that you have directed the object to the subject body part, has no relevance.

The fact that you throw indirect disgust on what I could be believing, could because you don't even understand it, and ask the same question over and over, doesn't really bother me. It is the pain in your psyche that does. The pain I feel and become, confused and blaming.

You could burn my house down and I would look in your eyes wondering what pleasure has this created for you, and when it will plummet, because we both know it is temporary.

You could kick hard into my stomach, and my heart rate would slow down and focus on the cognitive workings of the brain, trying to comprehend what is it that led you to exert your hate towards the stomach. What did you father or aunt do to you? Who was screaming at you when you felt like your legs should be useful for something other than walking?

And even if you have no traumas, still you point a gun at my chest, smirking knowing you are powerful. You shoot me and laugh in joy at the sight of flinging arms going backwards, Spirit leaves, not completely, it floats around you, curious about the cogs that work your brain machine.

Because really...
I have no right to pretend I own my body.
Life takes and gives at it wills.
The body gets hurt and loved.

The only thing I can control, the only thing I am, is perception.
The way I look at the fascinating world of complicated patterns and diverse seeds.

And I will cry when you cry.
I will share your joy as you smile into the distance,
I will enrage your hidden frustration and scream on death's face,
You would only keep me amazed.

My dearest love,
It is not that I love you.
Or maybe Love is just childish serious curiosity.

Universal Dagma

Flourish me
My soul is filled
Your heart is beating next to mine
I am a vase filled with your love

Close to me
My body tingles with touch
Your eyes glaze my troubled mind
I am in pleasure and content

A circle, I flow through textiles of Earth
Your link, expanding into infinite probability

How could I ever think this is but a chance
So many signs, through so many pathways cleared in front of thee

An experience fully clear
That love is nothing to be easy with
The journey to you is long and vigorous
Yet every step is a joyful melancholy

I woke one day thinking this life is strange, until your thought entered and bliss came with it. A smile bursting, veils open, truth revealed within memory. A feeling of purpose other than my own, overwhelmingly sure, I am here on your side, together a powerful synergy.

Sometimes I wonder, a trick of the mind?
Let it be, a fantastic trick Fate has played on us.
Beautiful awe fills the whole, appreciating this game Universe have displayed for us.

Come closer dearest Dragonfly
We shall wonder this mystery

Metanomos ; Chapter 1.0

It was one of those days, like you may be feeling now, where my path seemed blurred and unstable. I walked through streets as the drunken ghosts would when a massacre just occurred.

Shocked, trembling, unaware of my surroundings, except what kept me walking forward.. Something was dragging me towards it, like a bee ushered by the dandelion's pollen.
The mental world was crumbling under my feet, finding no solid grounds to hold onto. Only thing kept me going is that pull...

My eyes was dried out, my knees ached, shoulder tense from the cold I felt inside, hands sweating, rivers of emotions all meeting at Heart. Blood snail flowing, unwillingly spreading throughout.

My body, empty, soulless.
Like there was a stone placed within.
Dragging me down, paceless.

I paid no attention to a voice, it whispered "allegiance you seek"

I enter a cafe, seeking a seat, where I find it on the far right corner, away from the counter. I sit unconsciously, my eyes lost into the vagueness of World.

"Glad to have company after a long journey!"
I hear as my eyes start slowly fixating on the body placing itself, almost in slow motion, a few centimetres away from mine.

"Seems to have been through one yourself!" said laughed the body, eyes clearing out. Hard to describe what I'm feeling now, like there was a blue silk scarf falling slowly across my face, taking away the blurr, bringing my feet back to the ground. It was as if a wave have gently hit my brain, gushing flushing away my state.

I blink. My head twitching, I see before me an old man, probably in his 50s, beaming with his eyes seemingly closed, yet you still felt them watching you lovingly. Thick white, silvery, black hairs slithered on his head, twisting in different directions, looking for sunlight. A ghostly little beard, the color of his hair, stretched over his jawline to a sharp point a few centimetres below his chin. Neck rippled by years of speech. Shoulders slumped, a straight back, gently resting on a chair. Arms hard yet thin, hands rough as sandpaper stone netted on his lap, strong walking legs arched, their bare soles facing each other, resting the outer little toe mound on the ground.

"Let me tell you young fella, it might seem hard, a journey this far. Tripping here and there, falling on your ass a few times, hitting walls along the way. Meeting demons! Hah! Trust me I've seen worse lads. But you keep going, there, soon rest will come, heavenly it would be.. There it is..."

His voice faded as my head fell on his hand, where he placed it above the table to cushion the fall.

As the mind went blank, an image flashed, seemed long, gone in a second.

I slept.

An Old Physicist - Part 1

"I am an old Physicist, I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of time."

I was exploring the possibilities of other Planet Earths. They seemed distant, yet we longed to discover them. We felt we needed to look into something, something that shows possibilities; beyond our comprehension.
It was like looking into your past, I realized later on. We saw possibilities of Planet Earths beyond our solar system, beyond The Milky Way. Planets that orbit around red dwarfs, children to our Sun. Planets that themselves were in their twos, threes, to tens, year olds away from our maturing Earth. We longed to understand where we came from, where we are heading. We looked out-wordly to find answers.

Answers that we could also find inside.

Observation of the Self

1. Inter Dream State
He never knew a day would ever come. He always thought that his pattern of thoughts were stable, heading towards a clear destination, an ultimate goal.

Nigel woke up slowly, guided by the fading bright light. He sat up, crossed his knees, arched his back, placed his right arm elbow on his right leg knee, placed his right hand palm under his chin as support to his head. His left arm shoulder extended straight, forearm, followed by his left hand palm, falling down to hold his left leg knee, eyes staring into space, reminiscing in his dream.

His memory showed him gracefully falling into space. He was not sure if he was naked, although he did see him self in third person with a vague image. At the same time he was looking through the eyes of the dreamer. He felt joy in the fall, and scanning his surroundings, he saw little worlds.

Worlds with magnificent landscapes and terrain. Surfaces with floating islands on bright blue seas. Mountains of rivers and ice. Deep cracked, volcano infested plains. A Single Mountain globe.
And the stars were bright and plenty. Red, yellow, green, purple stars.
In a moment, he longed to go discover the Planet Earths. In the same instant, a voice told "Nigel, stay your place. Mystery is shy, let it come to you."

His body slowly relaxed into crossed leg sitting position, back straight, arms resting on knees, and closed eyes. Within moments, a light started between his rib cages, right where they split. The light expanded, until his view was only bright light.

A short walk in Metanomos

"When pronounced, it sounds like you're almost saying enormous, see" he pronounced again, slowly extending the 'no' of his imagined word.
"Look those two words up on this little dictionary of yours" he tapped on my skull "meta and nomos."

... I searched.

"You see a way of walking on this Earth, a perception of the metaphysical make up, an intricate web of possibilities can be seen through such a veil."
"When you see that this universe operate on a set of laws, ever-changing in the way it brings in different characteristics when an individual situation arises, you are able to flow through life's spectrum of experiences, guided by search of truth in every moment."

As I just went into bewilderment yet confusion in what he was painting, we stalled in quiet for a few minutes, he took a sip off his rose water bottle and whispered "a vessel as a shadow."