A spiraling downward movement, dizzy hazed vision, cannot really see where it is going. Darkness.
In a busy city street, blurry sounds of chatter and passing cars, you see her in the distance, looking at the left side of her back, feeling rejection, no attention given. People walk by and your vision only gazes towards her.
You see her again, in a moving train, but she never leaves your sight, you're standing on the edge of the platform, she seems near visually, but the train moves away, she stays close. She is facing the other way.
There, in the kitchen, slicing avocados, putting bread in the toaster. you sit on the bed, starring. She finishes preparing food for herself and sits on the dining table, slowly eating her breakfast. You never see her face.
An empty feeling at heart. The image starts to slowly crumble.
Black.
I woke with a rough cough and pain just under where my rib cages meet, that soft spot. Like someone has just punched me...
"Where it hurrts the most, dosnit?"
I look up the old man still beside, smiling with his almost closed eyes, smirks.
"Lad you know it digs deep and deep this worm of attachment. Too deep sometimes you gotsa bring the pain back to the surface."
He chuckles mischievously. I look at his left hand as a fist, tense rested on the table. I realize he just punched me..
"WHO ARE YOU?" I burst in an instant like a dragon awoken for the first time in a thousand years.
"Oooh just an old fella..." he starts answering as if we are making small talk, sitting on a bar stool. "Traveled far and hard around this globe. Seen many tings, yeaas I tell you. Oh and learnt a few too. Head full of methods and theories. Paah so much in there so packed. So I thought might as well pack them up put them in a book. But you see books are good in some ways, but not in others, no no. Just visual symbols, a bit of auditory, where is the other senses in that?! And what about the experience HA?! So I thought here might as well teach it to someone..." He paused for a second, head tilting slightly up his right staring into space.
As he talked on and on, as my initial dragon anger died down, bells ringing to pay attention. What an annoying fella I thought, yet ringing ringing, I cannot stop those bells.
"But then I thought no no, defeats the purpose. Maybe just share it, talk about it, experience it with someone ay.. See what they make of it, getting it going in their heart as it does go on all hearts. See they beat together a symphony. HAHA. Brilliant symphony! But every beat inspires the other, evolution you see. Ripple effect, bla bla..."
He stopped, looking bored by his own talking, or by my confused look.
"See compiling it is needed, otherwise I throw these non-sensible words at you, I don't even get it! But it is there, just need a... to work expressing, sharing it. With a som.."
A sudden jerk stopped him, like a popcorn of an idea has popped in his brain, left eye arching upward, right one down (as it seemed they always were, now emphasized) gazing curiously at my eyes.
I read his eyes. Then he reads mine. "YES! Well of course! why not then, welcome aboard!"
He extends his right hand towards me. "What?" I act surprised, yet intrigued. "Ah don't be a fool, you're a sharp fella, assessing every little moment and movement, I myself is not a fool too, I see your eyes, scanning, up and down. A normal one would have left the very second! Ooh they say they come best in desperate times, when all the emotions and sensors are open. Gidi-yap then! give us yourr hand!"
I stare at him in confusion, dis-belief, passionate curiosity. "Aboard what?"
"The journey of Metanomos.." He slowly announced, followed with a broad smile across his face. Eyes in relief.
"When pronounced, it sounds like you're almost saying enormous, see"
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