inter the dimension

I have entered a different dimension, no doubt about this.
And I have fallin' into it as soon as I entered. It's a dimension where my child excited, unaware of the effects of it on him. A dimension where one of it's purpose is to erase all thoughts of other places, brings you back into Home, and makes you appreciate the place you are at. I started as questioning my place and what I am doing in life, but that didn't last for long.

We had to come to terms, I knew this within the 3days, I had to be absorb the dimension, slowly, let it be part of me, so I can appreciate it.

The first couple of days where in suspense, in space, in "i just came down the plane and i don't know what the hell is going on, but i do, but it's really confusing, and my body/soul hasn't landed on ground yet". It felt like I am like jelly, easily persuaded jelly. "good morning Ahmedi! yalla get up we'll go cut your hair and maybe then you can go to the Morrocon bath house and get cleaned up! that would be nice!" was my first wake up call, I am dazed.

So I got "pushed around" a bit, parents and brother telling what to do or what I could be doing "come with me to this meeting maybe you will benefit", "let us go get your licence!"
It's good though, in a sense, they are getting things going for me, otherwise I would be stuck in a daze.

The daze, the parents thinking I can't do things for myself, and I can't over here, it's a different dimension, I wish I was thrown here without a place and connections in some ways, so I can discover Bahrain, not go back to something that existed 6 years ago, and still does.

I woke up, slowly making sense of why I am here, I think I understand now. I need to be here & now, i am not leaving, for now, I am not thinking of leaving, until this mission is complete. I need to show that I am independent, I need to be a man, I need to be Man. Time to connect with the masculine. Time to leave the shadows of my parents, shadows of society's projections.

But I can't do it in sudden, rediscovering, re-entering, in depth and surface. The underworld and upperworld, two sides coming together in the middle.

"most benevolent of matters are its middle"
- Prophet Mohammed


I am now looking for graphic design full time work, looking for artists and musicians, re-connecting with family and friends, writing, drawing, hardly playing flute, reading. Loving life in a different way.